Friday, September 08, 2006

Manpris taking Hollywood by Storm.

This is "musician" Avery Storm. Those are denim manpris. That (you can't see it) is barbecue chicken salad vomit on my keyboard. Happy Friday.

tip from chris (link to his blog)
found, of course, at gofugyourself.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Nihilism Jumps Shark.

Goth Capri Pants?
Yes. Goth Capri Pants.
Fight the Power, Girlfriend.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

stool (n)—piece of excrement.

This ugly-ass bar stool is called "The Capri."
Just sayin'.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Capris? Cankles. Cankles? Capris.

Sure, a piece of clothing that draws your attention like a laser beam to a woman's cankles is smart fashion design. Absolutely.

Friday, June 09, 2006

NO COMMENT.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I choose "c", none of the above.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

If a woman's wearing Capri Pants, honestly, it doesn't matter what she's got going on from the waist up. I don't even notice.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

do NOT give peace a chance.


Here, a woman tries to throw me a homemade olive branch in the ongoing War On Capri Pants. I do not negotiate with fashion terrorists.

previously:
OPERATION ENDURING STUPIDITY

Monday, May 15, 2006

Cargo Shorts vs. Capri Pants


Both are ugly. But which is worse?

Don't worry, someone already thought of combining them (click image).

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Next Stop: Dr. Chopmyballsoff.

I see a man dressed like this, and I am nearly overwhelmed by an urge to take a mace to his fucking head.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Pink Flamingos. The Pants.

The temp outside this afternoon here in NYC is approaching 80. I just got back from lunch and saw plenty of otherwise attractive women wearing disgusting capri pants. But none as disgusting as this pair. These pants are even more disgusting than the movie.

Friday, April 28, 2006

What to wear to your next WTO protest

These are called "subcultural" capri pants. Yep, they're a sign that world civilisation is going down the shitter.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

An Army Of Dumb.

You want our troops out of Iraq? Make em dress so, and they'll swim home to get out of wearing these fucking pants.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Pom-Pom Capris

This is a semi-famous person, a former model, now an aging nobody. Pic is from this year's Oscar's. Here's a couple of clues as to her identity:
• gap-toothed.
• original Charlie perfume girl.
• real middle name is Laurence.
Her outfit (racing gloves?) is a model of hideousness.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I said it before, and I'll say it again...

Even a Total Fox looks retarded in Capri Pants.

Friday, November 11, 2005

SIENNA MILLER, BLOODY RETARDED.

So...you say there's no doubting the superior sartorial sense of our friends across the pond in the UK?

Capris PLUS Uggs PLUS Bowler EQUALS...I'm bangin' the nanny, too.

(pic lifted from the BRILLIANT 2 women of GoFugYourself.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

"STUPID" is the word

Apparently, there's still a HUGE gang of Capri-pant-wearin' "tough" (snicker) chicks out there in this fucked-up-to-heaven country sportin' the Grease moniker "Pink Ladies".

Dog. Doo. Wop.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

The Valley of the Capri Dolls

Every day, their hard-working good-lucking suburban husbands named Ken and Joe and Frank and such would amble off to their dead-end jobs to bring home their modest paychecks. And, every day, the wives would get together and drink Zinfandel and play Bridge and eat Bonbons and give each other foot massages and gossip about whose bake-sale treats tasted like ass and go online and order pair after pair after pair of Capri pants.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

TAKE IT OFF!!!

Here we have the delectable Capri Pants/Stripper Shoes combo. For the poor men in the audience, I can only hope that these are tear-away pants.

Monday, October 10, 2005

THESE THINGS ALSO SUCK LOTTS

My Cali Editor informs me that Culottes (right) are big thereabouts this Fall with the back-to-college set. I have seen me some here in NYC, and frankly they just confuse the pants off of me. Women: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO YOURSELVES?

Thursday, October 06, 2005

IT'S ALLLLLL BAD

The pretty woman on the left is British actor Alice Evans. Her IMDb page says she is half French. Her outfit says she is all Idiot, layer after layer, right down to her horrific homemade Capri Jeans.

(image and funnier commentary found here, from the brilliant ladies of gofugyourself)

Friday, September 30, 2005

America, The Ugly.

(nice sandals on her though)

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

IF BABIES COULD TALK...

"You know what, Ma? Just go ahead and forget the diaper. I'll just shit my pants."

Friday, September 23, 2005

WHEN BUMBLE BEES ATTACK

The official report says the woman was stung to death because of the "realistic looking flowers." I say the flowers had nothing to do with it.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

LAUGHTER MAY ALSO VARY...

...from a snicker to a snort to a guffaw.